Men and Shoes or How to Find the Right Fit

Some days it just seems like the well of my ignorance is bottomless. Then, other days it seems deeper. When it comes to understanding men--all bets are off.

The axiom of treating people the way you would like to be treated doesn't apply either. Go figure. Besides being individuals, men are more than major convoluted conundrums. They are quintessential mazes born of the hinter world.

However, you're damed if you do, and damned if you don't does apply because they can be as moody as use on our worst day--boy can they be moody. Been there done that works for me as well after all these years of experience. Just when you think you MIGHT understand one iota of some aspect about them, you find yourself facing the realization that you were wrong--or at least misinformed.

Take that experience, roll it up in a big ball, weight it down with a cruise-ship size anchor and toss it into the deep blue sea cause that's how much it's worth today.

You can study as long and hard as you want. Scan and rescan brain images and process bottles and bottles of D.N.A. and A.N.D. and anything else that comes to mind and you'll end up with the same prognosis: it's all a crap shoot. However, don't think that hard work doesn't pay off. It pays off in hours and hours of repartee, sometimes one-sided that often goes in one ear and out the other--if it makes it that far. There are more speed bumps between the left and right ears of many men than in most gated, high-class residential communities that boast a guard shack--excuse me, security pavilion.

You can weigh all the pros and the cons and make unending lists of what you might gain, can gain, may not gain and will loose. Toss those lists into the air with a deck of cards and see what hand you're dealt. The odds are with the house. Breaking even would be hugely lucky.

Feel all the feelings; dream all the dreams; but, if you get one bell, whistle or remotely flashing light STOP dead in your tracks. Don't jump. Take a deep breath, regroup and slow down. Don't let your biological clock or any other timing device or peer group pressure you into a roulette quagmire; a roller-coaster ride of heartbreak and heartburn barely flavored with a few highs. Unless you're in it for the money and it's a sure bet--back off.

Even if you're with the most handsome, seemingly loving guy, chances are that he won't be able to "keep it up" for too very long and will eventually show his hand and other sides of his Jekyll persona. A slip of the tongue, a little white lie, catching him somewhere he shouldn't be when he shouldn't be with someone he shouldn't be with. The evidence will add up to a sum total of: "He's not the guy for you."

Believing as long and as hard as you can that he's a good guy and the right guy doesn't make it so. They may be few and far between but they're out there.

Like a comfortable pair of shoes--now there's something you can wrap your head around--you've got to try them on, walk around a bit, look at them from different angles in those little mirrors on the floor and than think about them before you go back and put your money down. What feels and looks good one place often times gives you blisters, corns, pinched toes and a number of other ailments down the road.

While shoes are often seasonal, love and men are not--almost not. Your summer shoes are generally scanty with the least substance available to ensure circulation; holes and cutouts that provide style and show the contents of the package. However, some "heals" are taller than others, up to three inches, and some are flat. The taller they are, the harder it is to maintain an even gait. The flat ones are the closest to reality.

Choice is based on comfort and occasion. Winter shoes can be full-bodied and give extra protection. They are usually sturdier because they are meant to survive extra wear and tear. Some have laces and buckles and are filled with faux fur that often flows over the top. Of course, there's always boots that can be warm and toasty and slippers for light and casual wear by the fire.

Depending on your lifestyle, which consists of your short- and long-term goals, you might want a lot of shoes that have been worn once or twice or only a few pair that are so good you wear them repeatedly. And then, there's that oh-so-special pair that's just the cat's meow. That pair is the most comfortable, goes with everything/anytime pair that is just too good. So good, in fact, that none of the other pair can compare. That's the day you box up some of the others and drop them off at the nearest Goodwill-type shop. That one special pair is a keeper cause you'll never find any better. That pair sits at the front of your closet, neat and standing straight while the others linger in the back often getting pushed around and ending up in a pile. Sooner or later they'll find their way into a second-hand shop or tossed out cause of previous burnout.

It's a buyer beware world. So, when you're ready to get serious about shoes or men, be sure they're comfortable, fit right, are long wearing, come with a fairly reasonable if not good warranty, don't clash with the rest of your wardrobe and have a good "soul."